With our various calls for HELP and posting about our struggles, there have been some responsive posts about "commitment".....and this has given me a lot to think about. 

For easy reference, here is a recent response from Tony about commitment:

     "We all must remember that no matter what else, life will be life... unpredictable.
      But if we build a solid commitment and hold on to it like a rock,
      when life tosses us a storm (or two), we can get through it.
     
      You mindset is one of success.
      That success will become apparent over time... You WILL reach your goal! Smiley Smiley Smiley"

arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!  Have just lost my response post TWICE now, so I'm going to write in MS Word and paste over.....

Okay, I’ve been thinking so much about the word “COMMITMENT” as it applies to healthful LC WOE and in terms of my on-again, off-again “attempts” at staying on FTS plan.  And Tony, when you say, “But if we build a solid commitment and hold on to it like a rock, when life tosses us a storm (or two), we can get through it” you are talking about a major commitment rather than a “Oh, I need to ‘try’ again type of wimpy commitment.  That led to my thinking about some things I went through about 18 years ago that involved some poor decisions that caused me a lot of grief.  I remember the exact moment I made a strong “commitment” of “I will NOT be involved with that anymore.”   That commitment was out of desperation to get my life back together, and over time I have been very happy to have successfully made those changes, and my life has totally turned around as a result -- and of course this is by the grace of God and my firm resolve
. 
It’s like the difference between “true repentance which is a turning away from something” versus a wimpy “oh, I’m sorry, I’ll ‘try’ to do better” type attitude.  And that’s the level of commitment I need now to combat such a longstanding bad habit as “overeating” AND “eating stuff that is toxic/poison even.”
 
So here is my commitment:  “From this moment, 5-1-14 at 11:57 p.m., I will not eat sugar, flour, rice, sugary fruits, etc., ….the bad junk but will commit to the FTS plan and foods, 100% and I’ll not go back to my old ways anymore, at all, ever.  It’s just too much of a burden in my life and I want to lose the health problems and toxicity that goes with the toxic sugary foods, and instead will embrace healthy eating.”

I don't expect it to be easy nor for there to be temptations, but my mantra 18 years ago to change my life around was "I can do THIS." and again that applies to now, "I can do this."

So, anyone else need to find a time/place and formal commitment?  I guess we just need to sometimes take a stand to “no going back”
 
Thanks Tony for making the statement that helped me think this out, and thanks FTS family for always being here for us.

    to tony umpa all others who have lost have you talked about your fts journey on any posts or blogs that we who are new, renewed, struggling in the trenches can access and read for inspiration?   Of course we've read Doug's a number of times (which is our founding father who brought our lil FTS family together.  

Sherriepi's too and any other FTS "losers" (translate: winners) that I have missed.   

here is a copy over from email i sent to work.....getting hazy from the vicodin....

I had oral surgery this morning on that bad tooth, and during the surgery after partial removal of the tooth, there were loud cracking sounds on my left jaw.  So the doc stitched me up with some of the tooth still left in (below the gum line) because she was concerned I may have cracked my jaw or be close to it becoming fractured.  So I was sent home with Vicodin and antibiotic and I’m resting and taking the meds and changing out gauze like a good girl.   So this oral surgery area is supposed to heal up – what is still left in is below the gum line and what I’m supposed to do is heal and then be on jaw rest for SIX weeks!  The jaw rest is not chewing for six weeks anything chewier than soft pasta or scrambled eggs etc………..so this will be interesting.  After the six weeks they the doc hopes she will be able to go back in and remove the rest of the tooth.  Fun fun fun.

okay sooooooooooooo I have soft food figured out.........but thinking about soft FTS food.  Doc said anything I eat like veggies have to be mushy like soft pasta.  I don't expect the next few days for WHAT I'm eating to be very high on my priority list, so far today I've had blue box mac n cheese, broth, instant mashed potatoes with gravy, and some cold oatmeal....all food is luke warm at this time for healing and bleeding control. 

As soon as I'm off the vicodin and back to work and back to planning ahead more than my next ice bag change, I'll need to come up with a FTS plan that does not include chewing....doc said no salad....

So I'm thinking at some point I can make some crustless quiches with mushrooms, or any veggies cut up small so they dont have to be chewed.....

I'm thinking some soups....Costco has a low carb yummy broccoli soup that will be convenient, there is always scrambled eggs...........and protein drinks.........and butter..............haqhahahaha

and..............do you have any other suggestions for me?  when i asked about cheese I was told it should be grated cheese only.  Oh, and I can't have beef, she said not even ground beef, BUT I can have baked fish...............

Oh, and nothing with seeds, so berries are out right now unless I plan on peeling strawberries (NOT!!)

So dear FTS family,  what are your suggestions? 

And Morgan, so glad you are doing well.....at the time we posted today I wasn't up to telling about this yes (I blame the meds and just feeling out of it)......but like I said earlier, I'll get this figured out and have my own whoosh to report in next week or two also....

you are sitting in the dentist chair waiting for the shots, and you are sitting there with those sticks in your mouth that give you the local anesthetic that tastes like fruit -- sort of like strawberry -- before you get the shot.....and the first thought you have is "I wonder if this local ancesthetic has carbs in it"........

hahahahahahaha rofl -- true story happened to me on thursday morning...

ohhhhhhhhhh silly me....

HERE'S MY NON SCALE VICTORY!!!

I have been a compulsive overeater, an emotional overeater and have a history of binge eating -- especially on sweets -- that's how I got to 298, and I've not been successful before with taking this weight off until starting this January. I've not been compulsively overeating or bingeing since January this year, but it was a HUGE part of my life before.

So last Tuesday I picked up my elderly mother at the train station. She has dementia (that was her last train trip even), and she had lost her luggage (again) and she gets very angry if anyone tries to help her describe the luggage. I was feeling really frustrated trying not to "help her" describe her luggage (she didn't know size or color) or even did not know her address or phone number, and I spoke up and supplied this information, and of course she was irritable with me about it. Also during her trip my sister and I had discussed and I'm needing to start paperwork for conservatorship hearings, etc. So needless to say when I dropped mom at her house I was pretty emotionally charged up.....and this is what happened.

I drove to a 7-11 to get a large diet pepsi with ice which was fine, but while the cup was filling up, I saw over to the side some cornuts, and stuff like that. I got my drink and was looking over the cornuts packages trying to figure our how many carbs etc., when I realized to the left of the cornuts was this WHOLE row of candy -- all the candy I have binged on in the past when having problems, and especially any problem with my mother's problems.

I stood there and looked at all that stuff and was very tempted to get what I'd want and just eat it in the car and no one would know. Then I said this to myself, "None of this will help me feel better. None of this will fix the problem.  None of this will make my problem any easier to deal with. It won't help me deal with mom, or a difficult mom who also now has dementia. It won't help at all, it won't even help me feel better after I've finished the candy -- I'll just want more candy and I'll just be going back to my old ways and the weight will come back on and more."

Then I sighed, and walked away from the candy aisle, paid for my diet pepsi, and went home. That is probably the biggest non scale victoriy of my entire life, and it is a moment and a lesson I hope I never forget.

Thanks for listening....and what is your NON SCALE VICTORY this week? 

Hi FTS friends......wanted to let you know I'm out here and still losing and doing well.  I'm down to 257 and just stayed up till 2:00 a.m. to make my revolution rolls and made some browning (that suck -- hopefully they will taste better tomorrow).....I've been too busy, and I can imagine all of you getting ready to remind me I need more rest and sleep.  I think I've overscheduled myself a bit. 

don't have any news other than I'm hanging in there and hope all of you are also......hug

The sweet darling electronic box on the floor this morning blessed me with a "269.5" in its little window............
YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY happy FTS dance.....

I now have all of my walk-in closet in the living room spread out on a pool table and dining room table....I've been trying on clothes and making piles of.

1.  Too big -- send to salvation army. (my 3x's and 24's).

2.  Can wear now, launder because they are dusty from years of sitting in back of closet....SOME OF these have price tags on, since I am the queen of buying something on sale that "will look great if I just lose 10 pounds" (but I was always gaining -- thus the clothes were never worn).  i even found underwear smaller WITH TAGS ON, that i had bought on sale at lane bryant....Also, for instance, there is one outfit that is adorable, top, skirt that are flowered with coordinating soft green color in slacks and jacket........and bought that to wear to my son's baptism when he was 12......he's now almost 23....oy vey

3.  Can wear soon -- "WHEN I LOSE 10 POUNDS!!!!"  ROFL ROFL ROFL....well actually I'll be able to start wearing them somewhere after probably 5 pounds...it's close, but I don't like to wear tight clothes at all....

4.  Can wear when I lose about 20 pounds....putting those in a rubbermaid tub for probably summer, maybe fall even, can wear a lot of those into fall.....Those are size 22's that are a SMALL 22.....you know how manufacturers sometimes run small, etc.

5.  Another rubbermaid tub of clothes that are 20's, 18's, 16's....some of those with price tags also....

I have shirts, tops, slacks, jackets, AND THREE RAIN COATS from 3X-26 size down to 16....wooohoooo...

So I'm set for clothes for this project until size 14...then I'll get to shop  :-)

Anyway..........269.5 is the good news.  More than the number on that electronic square box on the floor, my focus still is that I know every day, day in,  day out, no matter what I am doing, or where I am, I am staying on track with very few mistakes....and that is empowering....

Looking forward to the minute I next see the 250's....if I just stay on track, I'll get there....

******FTS TEAM HUG*******

How many carbs (net carb) in a tablet of Fiber Tabs -- active ingredient is calcium polycarbophil (625 mg equivalent to 500 mg polycarbophil).....got them from Costco -- they are Kirkland brand.