Fat To Skinny
General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: o0OSusieO0o on April 26, 2013, 01:16:57 PM
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The Push: "It's just once a year!"
Your Response: "But I'll probably live to celebrate more holidays if I stick with my diet plan!"
Why It Works: People can sometimes see healthy eating as vain—a means to the end result of losing weight and looking better. It's harder for a food pusher to argue with you if you bring attention to the fact that you eat right and exercise for better health and a longer life. Looking good just happens to be a side effect!
The Push: "Looks like someone is obsessed with dieting…"
Your Response: "I wouldn't say obsessed, but I am conscious of what I eat."
Why It Works: Words like "food snob" or "obsessed" are pretty harsh when they're thrown around by food pushers. But don't let passive-aggressive comments like this bring you down—or make you veer away from your good eating intentions. Acknowledging your willpower and healthy food choices might influence others to be more conscious of what they eat. Sometimes you just have to combat food pushers with a little straightforward kindness.
The Push: "If you don't try my dish, I'm just going to have to force you to eat it!"
Your Response: "Sorry, but I don't like (or can't eat) [insert ingredient here]."
Why It Works: It's hard to argue with someone's personal food preferences. If someone doesn't like an ingredient whether its sweet potatoes, pumpkin, or butter, odds are that he or she hasn't liked it for a very long time. If you'd like to get creative with this one, go into detail about how you got sick on the ingredient as a kid or how your mom says you always threw it across the room as a baby. Who can argue with that?
The Push: "You need some meat on your bones."
Your Response: "Trust me, I'm in no danger of wasting away!"
Why It Works: This food push is definitely on the passive-aggressive side. Using humor to fight back will defuse any tension while making it clear where you stand.
The Push: "One bite isn't going to kill you."
Your Response: "I know, but once you pop you can't stop! And I'm sure it's so delicious I wouldn't be able to stop!"
Why It Works: This is another situation where humor will serve to distract the food pusher from his or her mission. It's a way to say "thanks, but no thanks" while making it clear that you're not interested in overindulging.
The Push: "But it's your favorite!"
Your Response: "I think I've overdosed on it; I just can't eat it anymore!"
Why It Works: If you have a favorite holiday dish that everyone knows you love, it can be especially tough to escape this push. If a loved one made the dish specifically for you, the guilt can be enough to push you over the edge. But people understand that food preferences change, and most have been in that situation of enjoying a dish so much that they can't touch it for awhile.
The Push: [Someone puts an extra helping on your plate without you asking.]
Your Response: Push it around with your fork like you did as a kid to make it look like you tried it.
Why It Works: While putting food on someone else's plate can be viewed as passive-aggressive, it was probably done with love. (Let's hope!) Making it look like you ate a bite or two can be an easy way out of the situation, but you can also just leave it alone and claim that you've already had your fill. (After all, you didn't add that extra helping!)
The Push: "Have another drink!"
Your Response: "I have to drive."
Why It Works: No one will argue with the fact that you want to drive home sober. If they do, you should have no qualms walking away from the conversation, period. If they offer a place for you to stay, you can always get out of the situation by blaming an early morning commitment or the fact that you need to get home to let the dog out. Kids will also get you out of everything.
The Push: "We have so many leftovers. Take some!"
Your Response: "That's OK! Just think, you'll have your meals for tomorrow taken care of."
Why It Works: Not every party guest wants to deal with the hassle of taking food with them, and this makes it clear that you'd rather the food stay. If the host is insistent, you can feign worry that they'll go bad in the car because you're not going straight home, or it'll go bad in your fridge because you've already been given so many leftovers at other parties recently. Or be polite and take them. You'll have more control of your food intake away from the party anyway. So whether you don't eat the leftovers at all or whether you split a piece of pie with your spouse, you're in control in this situation.
These tactics can work wonders in social situations, but honesty is sometimes the best policy. A simple "No, thank you" is hard for a food pusher to beat, especially if it's repeated emphatically. Remember, too, that it's okay to have treats in moderation, so don't deprive yourself of your favorite holiday foods. Just make sure that you're the one in control of your splurges—not a friend, family member or co-worker who doesn't know your fitness and health goals!
(Copied from http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/nutrition_articles.asp?id=1685&page=3 (http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/nutrition_articles.asp?id=1685&page=3))
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Thanks for sharing this, Susie! :) :) :)
Tony
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These were great to read Susie -- I have started just saying, "No thank you." I say it nicely, and when they push the food again, I say, "No THANK you." I say that nicely, but just more emphatically.....I do this because I just don't want to discuss it.....it's just not open to discussion or negotiation for me. I've not had anyone push a third time.... ;D ;D ;D
This works well for me....I've always been a person pleaser, and this effort just has been so difficult at times, that I just have no patience for any type of food pusher. It's interesting, but the food pusher the pushes the most is a gal at work who is supposedly on "low carb"....but they eat bread and potato chipes, candy, all this stuff. Tuesday night they offerred me strawberries and "ricotta cheese." I said "no thank you," and she said, "But you can have ricotta cheese -- it's made with half and half." I replied, "no THANK you." Maybe part of my problem last year when I didn't succeed was I was listening to her advice telling me I could have bread, fruits, flour dredged fried things, etc.
Anyway, my two cents in the middle of the night.....and Susie, i really liked the suggestions.....well planned out -- glad these work for you. Thank you for sharing them with us.
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This is a great list :) Thanks for sharing.
I run into food pushers all the time...Haha I think I've pretty much heard them all :D I just tell them that I am eating for my health and unfortunately that doesn't fit into the plan very well. I think the one I have heard the most though is "a little won't kill you" Haha My response is " Maybe not today, but a little here and a little there after a while sure will! :P " I really think they are mostly trying to convince themselves of that more than me ;D ;D ;D
I am hopeful that folks will start to look at someone who chooses to eat low carb in the same way that they do for vegetarian, vegan, gluten free....etc Most people don't get that it is a lifestyle choice not a diet :-\
Also I like the way my daughter responds to people who offer her something she doesn't want to eat... "No thank you I'm allergic to that" :D :D
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I am not kind when being bullied. When i say no I mean it. If people continue on after that I am offended. My health is way too important. You dont serve a vegetarian a steak ;) :)
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You dont serve a vegetarian a steak ;) :)
LOL... I really chuckled at that!!!
Love reading all your responses. I am so glad I'm not the the only one who has to deal with this. Funny that I've been saying no to sweets for over a year & my friends still put it on front of me.
It feels like I'm surrounded by drug pushers.
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In our culture over the years, low carb lifestyles have gotten a bad rap.
They've been blamed for causing health problems, aggravating mental disorders, etc..
Slow but sure, the view of low carbing is changing for the positive.
I too hope that the day comes soon when it's viewed like vegetarian, gluten free, etc..
In the meantime, let's all stay the course and get healthier every day!
That's the best way to "testify" to low carb living's benefits! ;D ;D ;D
Tony
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You are actually correct Susie :) Sugar releases Dopamine in the brain just like drugs.
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I agree that the bad rap on low carb is slowwwwwwwwwwwwly starting to turn around.....Dr. Oz had something on about cholesterol that talked about evil sugar and flour, etc., and it was a far more positive segment than the time Dr. Oz had Gary Taubes on his show.
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great suggestions! i face these people all the time. i'm nice until "pushed", then I just say what i think lol I won't go into all of that hahaha but i still stay nice, i'm just very very firm :D
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Oh my I needed this! But what do you do when the food pusher is your spouse? It's tiring, it really is. I've used the one where I said I'm in no danger of wasting away lol. However it comes and goes. Sometimes it's "I'm always eating "weird food" or I'm "selfish" to order special foods for myself (no one else in my house eats this way, unfortunately but I try to lead by example and not shove my eating habits down anyone's throats, literally lol). Sometimes he makes supportive comments. You just never know! He always makes comments about when am I ever going to eat real food which is an argument I'm just NOT going to get into again with him. I consider real food to have few ingredients and not be very processed but he thinks real food is the standard American diet of junk food, take out and pizza. Blah. I can't eat that junk anymore. I could understand if I was wishy washy but I've been low carb for three years! Sometimes that man done lost his mind lol. It's been 10 yrs though together so he's not going to change and bless his heart I love him to bits no matter what. I'm just going to continue, hold my ground, and keep on going! When I finally reach my goals then he might be convinced that I'm not killing myself or unhealthy! Okay: rant over :-D and thanks for reading if you made it all the way through my post!
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Yep...my hubs is the same way Haha I think he would just be more comfortable if I were eating like he likes to again. He only gets his junk food when we go out now HA! Of course I still fix carby stuff (mostly the sides) for him here at home but not even close to the way I used to. While he doesn't eat the FTS way completely he has cut his carbs down considerably...and that makes me feel better. Just stand your ground and show him the results of your next health assessment from your doctor. The numbers for my blood work just keep getting better and better....my hubs can't deny that kind of proof ;)
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Talk to him ;) Let him know it upsets you.He loves you and doesn't want to hurt your feelings.Besides women go from hurt to pissed very quickly(depending on the time of month) and he surely doesn't want that! :D
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Hi, Michelle! :)
Congratulations for holding on to your commitment to get (and stay) healthy as well as lose weight (http://www.fattoskinny.com/)! :) :) :)
And I agree with Umpa's suggestion.
You might also add that eating like he does will not only make you fat, but harm your health, too!
Remind him that a BIG part of love is protecting those we love from any harm.
And this is the time for him to show you just how much he loves you through his support.
I had a talk like that with my spouse WAY back when I first started FTS and before she adopted low carb living.
It worked! ;)
Tony
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Talk to him ;) Let him know it upsets you.He loves you and doesn't want to hurt your feelings.Besides women go from hurt to pissed very quickly(depending on the time of month) and he surely doesn't want that! :D
Actually he likes to make me mad on purpose (he has admitted that)! He's weird. But what you say is true! He doesn't want me truly mad for long! He has however cut back on some things like bread. Often he'll order a burger with no bun like I do...not sure why! He says its because he's getting fat lol. I say nothing! He gets mad at me if I say I want to lose weight (http://www.fattoskinny.com/), says I'm perfect the way I am and stop trying to change myself. Lol. That's not too bad but I know for my personal best health I need to lose some fat. Even if he loves me the way I am now.
Tony, thanks. I've discussed it with him many times but he says he can't keep up with my "diets" and doesn't really like to talk about it but at least the days of him literally shoving m&ms in my mouth are gone! No means no mister! Haha. He gets it now. He just doesn't want me to take off on him after losing weight. ;-) I said no way you're stuck with me buddy!
TooSweet, thank you for relaying your similar situation! It's comforting. I've navigated it successfully this long, I can keep going! Sometimes though you can't be subtle about these things...I may just have to not react since I think that may be what he's after - a reaction! Hard to say. I'm just happy and getting more organized and full of energy and he appreciates that I think so far but he has to be teasing me about something! Otherwise his head might explode lol. ;)
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:D
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