Oh friend...I can SO relate on SO many levels. As you've probably read, I went from 286 to 186 in like 4 to 5 months on FTS...I was motivated and determined...then I donated a kidney and when I did that part of the testing was to double the average person's carbs a day to see how kidneys handled the stress, because carbs stress out our kidneys...whodathunkit? Once I got a taste..I couldn't go back. The good Lord knows I tried...but I couldn't. Then I got pregnant...then I almost died and I thought, well if I'm going to die I might as well enjoy the sugar ride along the way...too bad for me, not only did I not die (that's a good thing) but I couldn't get off the fricken sugar train...it turned into a daily festival of "This is my last sugar meal...I promise" and everyday I made that promise. So I gave myself two months post partum to get it together...So June 1rst came. I made a commitment...I was doing really well, then two weeks in I got in a bad position with no low-carb food at a party and caved. I tried to go back the next day...same story, stuck on the sugar train. Sigh. So for a week I did well, then not so well, and my mom and husband kept offering me food I wasn't supposed to have (I cook all the meals in this house and I'm the only one needing to
lose weight and get healthier...100 pound hubby eats whatever he wants >:O but I have to cook it). So, now I have restarted AGAIN on July 1 because I kept yo-yoing. Sigh. I know plenty about addictions, I am a licensed master level social worker (LMSW) and was addiction counselor at a methadone clinic...the same advice I gave to my clients, I now give myself. I was driving with my hubby the other day and I broke down in tears...this is kind of what I said, I'm going to share it because it might inspire someone, "I'm going to have to admit to myself, that there's always going to be a thought of just one more meal, just one more bite, just one more dessert...it's not going to go away, I must beat it into submission. It is simply my flesh rising up against me, and I must make it mind it's master. There will always be a fabulous, carb-loaded meal that is new and improved coming out, a new cake I've never tried, a new bread, something that will always be a source of temptation...each time I give into it, I pay the high cost of stomach ache, diarrhea, cramping, bloating, headaches, weight gain, and cravings. I'm going to have to get over it. I'm going to have to get over the fact that there are people (like my hubby and son) that can eat whatever they want and their body reacts differently than mine. I cannot change that...I simply must accept that I am different and thus must adhere to different lifestyle. As long as there is a restaurant open, a party, a holiday, a gathering of friends, fellowship, and food, there will be a temptation and craving...I must chose my fate and stick to it. I can only change myself, my desires, I cannot change what other people do or offer." I seriously said all of that, out loud to myself, and cried while I did it. What is different this time around? What is different July 1, than June 1...I'm a very faith based and devout person to my faith, so I had my husband pray with me and he decided to abstain from video games for 1 month and I decided I would low-carb for a whole month without going over 20 net carbs a day for a month and we prayed together and took an oath before God, and that is the ONLY reason I haven't caved. I know that I will not break an oath to my Lord...but I'll break one to myself. I figure, if I can make it a month, by then my cravings and weak moments will be lessened and I can battle against it by that point. Sometimes we have to get a little running start and some strength behind us to finish the race
You can do it...and we'll be doing it with you!