Author Topic: Need Help to Not Insult Hosts  (Read 3401 times)

ShihTzuMom1

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Need Help to Not Insult Hosts
« on: February 22, 2011, 10:30:23 AM »
My husband and I are invited to a dinner party in a couple of weeks.  It is with friends that we haven't seen for a long time and we are just casually acquainted with the other guests.  I'm not sure how to deal with the food issue.  My husband asked him if we could make or bring something (because I was hoping to get a feel of the menu) and her husband said that she has been looking through her recipes and is leaning towards some kind of chicken casserole.  I was hoping that it was meat cooked separately.  One dish meals usually mean noodles or rice and sauces.  I'm used to carrying things in my purse and don't think I could fit a full course meal in there.  Any suggestions?  My husband thinks I will insult them if I make them rethink their menu.  They haven't seen me for a long time and have no idea that I have lost weight or how I have done it.  I'm sure we will discuss it when I am there as she has always struggled with her weight and tries to eat "healthy".  I'm sure she'd love to know how I did this, but it is kind of awkward to go into it ahead of time since we haven't been together for a long time.  I'm sure there will be salad and I'm going to take a dessert anyway, but not sure what else to do.  I was thinking of stuffing my purse with string cheese and maybe a One Minute Muffin to eat discreetly to be sure that I am not hungry at dinner.  But then I don't want them to feel bad that there is not much on their table to eat.  I have no intention of eating "sugar" items, but want suggestions on how not to insult my hosts or make them feel bad that there may not be much for me to eat.



Rena

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Re: Need Help to Not Insult Hosts
« Reply #1 on: February 22, 2011, 10:38:32 AM »
I'm kind of in the same boat. We're going to WDW in May and my ILs have paid for us to eat at two very expensive dinner shows. The Hoop-Dee-Doo serves fried chicken, BBQ ribs, corn-on-the-cob, baked beans, and strawberry shortcake. I'm trying not to hyperventilate over it. I don't want to eat all those carbs, but I don't want to make my MIL feel bad, especially since she's paid so much. So, I'm planning on picking at what I can. I can pick apart the chicken and just eat the meat. I'll be okay eating some of the strawberries and a little whipped cream, but I don't have to eat the cake. And, I'm hoping there's a salad. I thought about calling to see if they have a special menu, which WDW always says they can accomodate people's diets, but at the same time I don't want to be a PITA. So, I figured I'd just nibble on things I know I can eat and hope no one notices or cares that much. Either that, or I might eat little bites of everything and just not clean my plate. Hopefully, the world won't end if I do that.

So, that's my plan for now, anyway. ;) Good luck to you, too!

downeast

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Re: Need Help to Not Insult Hosts
« Reply #2 on: February 22, 2011, 12:34:08 PM »
Calling ahead would probably work for Rena at a restaurant, but not so easy for SH..mom1 at a dinner party in someone's home.
 Best scenario at the dinner party would be if the host mentions your weight loss when she first sees you, then take the opportunity to to explain FTS adding "so that's why you'll notice tonight that I'll be eating low carb, but I'm looking forward to the salad."  If there is no chance to have that talk, then take a small spoonful of the casserole until you figure out what's in it,  try to extract some chicken from it, and spread the rest around your plate a bit to make it look like you ate some. And enjoy the salad. In any case the host will be admiring and envying the new you, whether or not she says so.
I have fretted about the same situations but then realize that people generally don't care or notice what I eat. If I eat only salad that's fine, and no one seems offended. Compliment them on the parts of the menu that you do eat, and everyone's happy.

SherriPie

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Re: Need Help to Not Insult Hosts
« Reply #3 on: February 22, 2011, 12:45:20 PM »
Whenever we have to attend a function and either I don't know the hosts, or it's something where I can't control what we're eating, I just eat at home before we go. Then during dinner  you can just separate the casserole and eat what you can. I am sure with veggies as such being served you'll be able to find something you can eat. If they ask after dinner why you didn't eat much just say you're getting over a stomach bug or something. Then you get to hang out and have fun and not worry about the food.    ;D
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mouseissue

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Re: Need Help to Not Insult Hosts
« Reply #4 on: February 22, 2011, 01:15:22 PM »
That is GREAT advise, downeast!  :) :) :)

You make an excellent point... We obsess over food and "assume" everyone else does too.
With the possible exception of mothers, most others really don't notice what or how much we eat while eating the FTS way.

And downeast also make another excellent point...
ShihTzuMom1, you are a walking testimonial for this way of life.
Be proud of what you've accomplished and share it liberally with others whenever you can!... In so doing, you'll bless them!  :)
What you do today is what matters!




Doug Varrieur

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Re: Need Help to Not Insult Hosts
« Reply #5 on: February 23, 2011, 08:46:51 AM »
Rena, don't think twice about it, call ahead and get a special plate. It's important to always think of your new lifestyle as a "cure" for your prior addictions. If you were an alcoholic would you take a drink at a social party so you wouldn't insult your hosts? Of course not....it's the same with your foods. When you are invited to a party don't ask if you can bring something, just do it. It's simple enough to put together a nice antipasto with greens, meats and fancy cheeses. It will be admired and enjoyed by the hosts and guests without standing up and replacing the main entree. This way you've resolved two of the big social questions;

1- Should I bring something with me?
2- How do I make sure I have food to eat at dinner parties?

Now I know your hubby already asked if you should bring something and he may have been told no. Ignore that...believe me the "no" you received was a polite no. Everyone loves it when people arrive with gifts  ;)

After you put together your fancy antipasto plate take a pic and post it, I look forward to your artwork  8)

Keep The Faith, Stay The Course, Spread The Word on Facebook and Twitter  8)

ShihTzuMom1

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Re: Need Help to Not Insult Hosts
« Reply #6 on: February 23, 2011, 09:21:30 AM »
Thank you for everyone for your suggestions.  I knew I could count on you.  I just don't want them to feel bad that I am not eating anything.  Hosts never want to see their guests go hungry.  Doug what a great idea to take a nice antipasto plate.  It's not like showing up with a main course and I feel comfortable with that.  I will also take a SF dessert, it's just trying to decide which of the many awesome recipes to make.  It's not for a couple of weeks so I have time to think about it.  Thanks again everyone.



Doug Varrieur

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Re: Need Help to Not Insult Hosts
« Reply #7 on: February 23, 2011, 09:37:13 AM »
Knock their socks off with Peppermint Stick Ice Cream from the Bakery Book. It's an awesome and very different recipe leaving this wonderful after dinner minty flavor they will savor and remember. The portions can be small because of the power of the mint. Don't forget some crushed mint for sprinkles and a can of whip cream.  ;)
Keep The Faith, Stay The Course, Spread The Word on Facebook and Twitter  8)

ShihTzuMom1

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Re: Need Help to Not Insult Hosts
« Reply #8 on: February 23, 2011, 10:24:46 AM »
I don't have an ice cream maker but plan on getting one before summer.  All of those recipes look delish!!



joagain

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Re: Need Help to Not Insult Hosts
« Reply #9 on: February 23, 2011, 11:53:43 AM »
A big dish of brownies and PB cookies everyone likes those throw in some of those delish looking strawberrys . I cant wait till i get my xylitol today so I can make my PB cookies ..

Rena

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Re: Need Help to Not Insult Hosts
« Reply #10 on: February 23, 2011, 01:32:28 PM »
Rick and I were talking about this last night. We both agreed that if we were throwing a dinner party and knew one of our guests was dieting or watching what they ate, we'd both go out of our way to serve something specific they could eat. Hopefully, you can find a way to eat a good meal and not have to worry too much, ShihTzuMom!

We went to a Super Bowl party this year, but that was different because we brought food to share with everyone. We made turkey & cheese wraps with low-carb tortillas and cut them into pinwheels. I managed to get a full plate of food and not load up on carbs, so it worked out okay.

Good luck again and I hope you have fun!

katary

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Re: Need Help to Not Insult Hosts
« Reply #11 on: February 23, 2011, 02:30:18 PM »
the truth usually works:) whenever we go to someones house i either eat before we go..... or after.... one time i took an assorted nut tray and just munched on those....:) a few months ago we went to friends of ours that we hadn't seen in ages for dinner...the 1st word out of their mouths were "geez you look great,how did you lose all the weight" to which i jumped to tell them about FTS,and also said "please don't be offended if i don't eat everything that you prepared,but I've worked so hard to get to where i am, that i just cant bring myself to take any backwards steps" they were totally cool with it & we have gotten together many times since then:)



mouseissue

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Re: Need Help to Not Insult Hosts
« Reply #12 on: February 25, 2011, 12:18:38 PM »
the truth usually works:) whenever we go to someones house i either eat before we go..... or after.... one time i took an assorted nut tray and just munched on those....:) a few months ago we went to friends of ours that we hadn't seen in ages for dinner...the 1st word out of their mouths were "geez you look great,how did you lose all the weight" to which i jumped to tell them about FTS,and also said "please don't be offended if i don't eat everything that you prepared,but I've worked so hard to get to where i am, that i just cant bring myself to take any backwards steps" they were totally cool with it & we have gotten together many times since then:)

That's the best advice I've heard yet on this topic, Gary!  :)

No real friend wants to sabotage another friends efforts in getting healthier.
What you do today is what matters!