Frustrated to tears and mad!!!

[TabyTaby]

  So, I started this program February 15, and it has been a HUGE challenge finding things to eat. Sometimes I get so hungry I feel like I'm going to throw up, and get very nauseous...but I haven't cheated, not even once, in fact, most days I'm between 12-15 carbs. I maintain that if I "cheat" or go over, the only person I'm hurting and really cheating on is myself, so I have stayed true to the program. But I am very frustrated right now. So, when I started on Feb. 15th, I weighed 240 pounds, and right now I weigh 224. Sounds good, I've lost 16 pounds, the problem is, 11 of that was the first week. So, since Tuesday of this week, I've only lost 2 pounds.  It's like it's slowed so much it's almost stopped, and I'm working soooo hard. I don't eat almost any sugar alcohols and I measure everything. Why would it stop??? Before I lost the first 40 something pounds after becoming vegan last June and before I started the FTS program, I was a size 22...now I'm an 18. It seems I should be in a 16 or a smaller size, that's not much of a move. I'm so frustrated. I cried today seeing all my friends that are skinny, and my husband, that seem to eat whatever in the heck they want and never gain a fricken pound. Why was I chosen to be fat regardless of what I eat? I'm practically killing myself over here (not literally but you know what I mean) measuring everything, being so careful, eating small portions, counting every carb, not enjoying my huge salads like before and tons of dressing because salads have too many carbs, no fruit, no carrots, only drink almond milk and water...so much I've given up and only 2 pounds this week??? Do you know how discouraging that is? I'm afraid, if the weight loss doesn't pick up, I'm going to throw in the towel, it's not worth giving up so much for 2 pounds...there's so much food I miss, like bread and pasta...quite frankly, excuse my language, but I'm ticked off at my body. Thanks for letting me vent. I hope everyone is having better progress than me right now.

[joagain]

If you stop you will gain back what you have lost on fts .Do you realize that you lost in 1 week what it took me 3 months to lose . So instead of being mad you should be happy .  
 You sound pretty miserable I have felt better since starting FTS. Of course we all want to lose fast but you being  discouraged with 16 lbs in 2 weeks is a little ridiculous .

Sorry if I sound mean .

[joagain]

LOL Owensmath

[mouseissue]

Hello TabyandZayBaby! 

Please listen to your fellow FTS family members.
At some point, many of us have been where you are right now at least once if not many times.

It takes time to build a low carb menu that fits your needs and tastes.
Please be patient.
Being so new to this, it's easy to become discouraged.

Ask yourself this question... "Did you gain all your weight in 12 days?"
If not, then it's unreasonable to expect your body to lose very much of it in that short of a time.
Every pound lost is a victory... It's that much less FAT you have to carry around!

Also, ask yourself this... "What if you do quit FTS?... What then?"
You have been overweight long enough or you would not be trying so hard to lose weight.
Please... Please don't condemn yourself to being overweight for the rest of your life!
You deserve so much more than that!

Please read a post I made earlier today.
I believe it will help add some perspective.
http://www.fattoskinny.net/index.php?topic=2143.msg19166#msg19166

Your fellow FTS family member,
Tony

[ShihTzuMom1]

You should not let yourself get hungry.  Why are you only taking in 12-15 net carbs if you're still hungry.  Use all 20 if you need to.  why are you avoiding salads.  Lettuce and cucumbers are very low in carbs.  Those 5-7 carbs that you are not using  would make a beautiful salad or 2.  Losing 2 pounds is nothing to be upset about, would you rather have gained 5.  Just use your carbs wisely and don't let yourself get hungry.  Try eating 5 times a day and see if that works for you.  Hang in there.

[Doug Varrieur]

Your choice to be Vegan ads a bit of a challenge for anyone on a low carb diet especially if eating soy is not an option. I can't recall if you like tofu and other soy products but you really should give them a chance. There are lots of soy choices in my product guide that replace meats and poultry.

You should also add bulky greens to your menu including lots of cabbage and collards.

A two pound loss this week is a loss not a gain, if you had thrown in the towel last week you would have gained weight this week....guaranteed!

If you're hungry and that's what's causing this mood then you need to look at your feeding times and make adjustments.

[Rena]

I'm sorry, Des. I hope this gets easier for you. I was wondering how hard it would be for you being a strict vegan, but you've done great so far and you've had an incredible start.

I haven't seen any changes on the scale in awhile, too. It's frustrating. My clothes fit different though, so I must be losing inches. Plus, I exercise everyday and am probably building muscle. I keep joking with Rick that I'm losing all my weight in my chest because none of my bras fit like they used to. Ones I couldn't even wear 5 months ago, I'm wearing as tight as I can get them. WTH? That's not where I want to lose it. SNORT! I know, TMI, ha ha!

Good luck and I hope it gets easier for you.   

[TabyTaby]

Okay, let me see how to address this. I came here because I have no where else to turn. I realize being upset with the weight loss is ridiculous, I was only venting, I've had a horrible week and my emotions are going nuts...so I was trying to vent. I really come for support, and I feel much better after I napped than before. I really didn't post for criticism...I get enough of that everywhere at home where my family says I've lost too much and it's not healthy. And I don't eat crap, and haven't for almost a year. I've been vegan for almost a year and prior to this diet I ate healthy food, just lots of whole grains and carbs. I avoid salads sometimes because when I put all the veggies on it I like, it gets to like 9 or 10 carbs for one salad, and I don't know about you, but salads burn through me! I don't like plain ones with just a veggie or two and sometimes I don't mean to get hungry, I'm just very busy (I raise a two year old, have 15 hours of grad school, 32-35 hours of work in another city a week, travel sometimes 8 hours a day and it's hard to carry and eat food when you're in court all day) and it sneaks up on me...by the time I've cooked my hubby and son a totally separate meal, I'm too tired to cook and just go to bed....does that make sense? I get very little sleep with work and school. And it's not FTS that makes me feel miserable, it's just I started it in a difficult semester. This is my graduating semester with my master's degree, and I have way over full time hours and full time work, working in foster care is not easy, so it's just the season I'm in, and since I was eating healthy before, it's not a huge difference I just have a lot less sugar...and that does feel great...I'm just exhausted! Doug, ShihTzuMom1, and mouseissue I found your posts very helpful, thank you! And I agree Doug, I don't think anyone but a chef like you and other vegans can appreciate the difficulty I face being vegan on a low carb diet, it is much more difficult trying to find variety. Part of this frustration comes from my lack of ingenuity in cooking, I'm great when it comes to cooking from flour and whole grains, but when I'm left with only veggies, it's much more difficult...I appreciate you understanding that Doug. Yes, I do need to adjust to smaller meals more frequently, but my internship is so scheduled, they won't let us snack, it's just hard season and it will pass. I just wanted to come and vent and for the helpful comments I appreciate that. I know I can do this, again just needed to lean on someone. And I just need a few more ideas. As soon as I can save a little money, I will buy the low carb vegan cereal and tortillas and crisp bread because that will give me so many more options! Love you guys! Oh, and I think I did pretty good with my dinner the past couple nights, although for a good size portion it is 15 carbs but this is what I had:

Spaghetti squash with diced tomatoes, and quartered zucchini sauteed with red wine vinegar, olive oil, lime juice, lemon pepper, and sea salt It was so good!

P.S. MOST of my frustration is from watching my hubby eat whatever the heck he wants, cooking wonderful meals for him I can't eat, and he will eat plate after plate and never gains a pound! He is 5'6 and 145 and doesn't work out...although now we're trying to meet in the middle at 165, so he complains about gaining weight and I'm trying to lose, it's become a fun competition between us who can gain/lose faster! I'm beating him! But I'm so tired of seeing all these skinny people who eat and stuff their face and never gain a pound...I'm like, why was I chosen to be the fat one? UGH and I've been hosting a lot of parties lately with pastas and breads and chocolates and so now I'm really missing things like sweet tea, bread, pasta and my favorite restaurants so that's why I'm so mad, not really as much the weight loss, I have unrealistic expectations from my body sometimes, but it's betrayed me a lot I feel and since I can't yell at myself, just tried to vent here. I know I will lose more, but I wanted to see if it's normal to taper off sometimes, that was it.

[momx04]

I know how you feel.  I had  those frustrated tears today.  I lost 10 lbs the first week, then gained 3 this week that I can't seem to lose.  I think my body is wondering what the heck is going on...i know it will catch on soon.  The folks on this site are wonderful and are extremely supportive.  Stay the course.  Don't put that poison back into your body.  One very positive thing I found has happened to me in the past 2 weeks -- I will not reach for that bread basket at dinner.  Knowledge is power...(I cannot believe rice pilaf has 48 carbs...I now understand what that means to my body).  

Reread Dougs book also.  I have reread several sections to keep my "head in the game".

You, like me, got very excited to see such instant gratification in the first week and felt deflated when the pace wasn't consistent.  But, I've been on every diet there is out there and not once did I drop 10 or 11 lbs first week!  Take your 16 lbs as a great big jumpstart to the end.  And stay the course. You are already ahead of the game.  

Theresa    

[TabyTaby]

Thanks Rena!!! I love you so much, you're such a valuable source and a great encourager!!! You look awesome too! I guess I'm partly mad also because since I've lost the 60 pounds, I would have thought I'd lost more than just two sizes from a 22-18 you know?  I know some people who recently lost 50-60 pounds and they're skinny, but since I was nearly 300 pounds, I still am obese 60 pounds later...and that's what really got me, realizing, yeah I've lost 60 pounds, but a lot of people don't notice or say I look like I only lost 20 because I was so big to start with! A friend of mine said that last night btw. She was like, you don't look like you've lost that much, and I showed her old pics and she was like, yeah, but I think when I met you you were skinnier than you are now...and I wasn't!!! I haven't been this weight in years...and it really hurt my feelings. She is over 300 pounds mind you. But you know what I'm saying, it was a huge crush, like you can't tell I've lost a lot of weight? And then it's hard when I go out or when we have to go out when I'm on the road for work (internship) and I get a salad, because I can't measure everything and they don't know how many carbs it is, (surprising so many places don't have nutritional info on their dishes) especially when I have to remove or exchange items you know. And then I freak out like...oh no, what if I go over...I might gain it all back! I know that's not realistic, but it's a fear I have. UGH I'm exhausted typing this.

Mouseissue you said, "Please... Please don't condemn yourself to being overweight for the rest of your life!
You deserve so much more than that!"  

I appreciate that gravely! That is really eye opening and I am grateful you said that, you are right! Thank you for that encouragement! And thanks again Rena...love you!

[TabyTaby]

Thanks so much Momx4...You nailed it! I lost so much at first, and then it's like...addictive to lose weight and I want it to keep going at that rate! You definitely "get it" I appreciate it! And you're right...never before have I lost this much weight, except for when I went vegan, I lost 40 pounds in 3 months or so. But this has been faster. Thanks again, I appreciate everyone listening to my rant! Now...I'm soooo hungry...dont' know what to cook for dinner! I'm mad at veggies for having so many carbs LOL especially spaghetti squash...I have a love affair with that veggie

[Rena]

Hey, I hear you! I know all too well how people treat you different when you're heavy or thin. There have been times that I've run across old school friends who used to flirt with me in class, but wouldn't even make eye contact with me when I was heavy. It hurts.

But ... you're not doing this for anyone but yourself and your family!

When Rick bought the FTS book, I was doing okay by limiting my calories and was losing weight. I didn't even want to read the book because ... well, hey ... if you've read one diet book, you've read them all, right? But he asked me to, so I did. Rick was getting so big that I was scared to death he'd have a heart attack and leave us. The last thing I wanted to end up like was my mom -- overweight and widowed with kids. So when he suggested we try it for ONE month, I agreed because I knew HE had to do something.

He lost a bunch of weight that first month. My weight loss was much slower. From past diets, I knew this would happen because men generally lose faster than women, or at least he did. It was hard not to be angry because he was losing a bunch while eating way more than me. It just didn't seem fair, but that's just how it goes. He's had some set-backs and hit some blocks. One time he ate a little more than he should have and the number went up on the scale by FIVE pounds the next morning. Talk about freaking out. But everyone's body is different so we can't expect to see the same results. I go through phases where I'll lose a pound a day for a couple of days -- and then nothing for a week or so. It's frustrating. But like I said before, I'm probably losing in ways that aren't reflecting on the scale. I'd love to buy smaller underwear -- not smaller bras! 

Yesterday I nearly danced in the aisle at Albertson's because I found a low-carb yogurt. Rick just rolled his eyes because it seems I can always find something I like that works with this plan, whereas he struggles. He really loves bread and chips and especially loves snacking in front of the TV. He can't do that while he's on this program. He can snack, but it just can't be a 2-hour long snack like he used to. We have our daily diet argument just to get it over with and then we're fine. Hahaha!

So, trust me -- you're not alone in your frustrations. Some people, like your husband, are just destined to be skinny, while people like you & me have to fight it all the way. I can't tell you how many times Rick's glared at people in the store as they tossed a bag of Ruffles into their cart. He sighs and is pretty much a bear to go shopping with. I've learned to make sure he's FED before we go or it's really an ugly experience! 

Hang in there!!!

[TabyTaby]

You always know what to say and when to say it Rena!!! I appreciate you so much. Yup, I think I feel like Rick...and yes, my hubby (this may be TMI) but he was like, ummm you're not gonna lose your boobies are you? LOL He was like, they're getting smaller...I could have smacked him. He didn't bother mentioning my hips and stomach are smaller, just the breasts LOL, I love him though, such a typical guy. I'm so thankful for my friends here and thankful for you Rena...I just have to bite the bullet and keep pressing! Thank you so much for your stories and encouragement!!! It's a blessing to me and my soul

[Rena]

[umpa]

TabyandZayBaby I think you are way too hard on yourself.Maybe you should focus on getting healthy and not a number.Sugar does not give you energy.When you detox from sugar the opposite happens,your energy goes through the roof.Sugar and carbs are poison.They are so bad for you.They are fertilizer for cancer.
It sounds to me as a mom of 3 adult children that you are very tired and stressed.You need a deep breath and get a food plan.You are so organized at life and taking care of everyone else maybe its time to put that same care into yourself.
You need to look at your food choices.I think you have limited yourself to the point that the list of what you can eat is extremely small.Change is good. What worked for your body 5 years ago doesn't mean it still applies today.Your body is constantly changing.Try new things.
Rena  you think if you stand on your head the weight will fall into your boobs?