Yeppie today is the day I visit the Wallyworld in South Palatka to get myself
another pair of bluejeans (we useda call them Levies) back we I was a sprout.
Here's the reason when ya ain't got no behind to push your back wallet pocket
up high enough to reach without bowing your back it's time fer new jeans if in
ya no what I mean, dang near forgot this mornin, I busted threw the big two
zero zero for the first time in near on 20 years. Also cause of y'all I got to get
myself a new belt to, I was fer sure not gonna start wear spenders makes me
look bad when I eat out.
Here some Southern stuff y'all might just not no.
THINGS I LEARNED LIVING IN THE SOUTH, yeppie I really live in the
South , not as far south as Doug and UMPA, but I been there so I guest
that may count fer something. Hope these bring ah smile to face and a
real big grin to yer heart.
Buford and the Girls
A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before.
If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
Onced and Twiced are words.
It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!
People actually grow,eat and like okra.
Fixinto is one word. It means I'm going to do that.
There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there's supper.
Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South.
Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.
The word jeet is actually a question meaning, 'Did you eat?'
You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.
Ya'll is singular. All ya'll is plural.
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.
You carry jumper cables in your car - for your OWN car.
You only own five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, Tabasco and ketchup.
The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, the motor sports, and gossip.
Everyone you meet is a Honey, Sugar, Miss(first name) or Mr.(first name)
You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
You know what a hissy fit is..
Fried catfish is the other white meat.
We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!!!
You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends and those who just wish they were from the SOUTH.
