Help!! I'm Out of Control!

[umpa]

Great advice

[mouseissue]

I agree with Umpa!... Great advice, Elizabeth!!!

We all must remember that no matter what else, life will be life... unpredictable.
But if we build a solid commitment and hold on to it like a rock,
when life tosses us a storm (or two), we can get through it.

Your mindset is one of success.
That success will become apparent over time... You WILL reach your goal!
And Jacki will join you, if she adopts it.

Tony

[Elizabeth779]

Hi Jacki -- time to check in with us and let us know how you are doing.....sending good thoughts your way...

[Strucker]

Hey Jacki! Let's talk about outta control eating, shall we?! I used to be the w o r s t! Most of yall know my story, so I'll spare ya! But whatever the mother n law cooked, I ate! And believe you me! It was not Fat to Skinny related! (&she even got the book!) Well, one day...The light came on! She and I "bicker" alot anyway, & seriously all she's gonna do is throw a fit anyway! So I decided one day just to start picking my battles.  She's never gonna change the way she cooks, but I can change! WoW....lol, enlightening, huh? But for me, I wasn't a confrontational person, until... (&well just leave it at that!:-) but once I realized I had the power of change, it was on! I find myself eating better and making wiser choices. And also, I keep a journal of everything she cooks and everything I eat. Helps me alot. Sorry for the novel! Lol...

[jackibar]

I keep busy,that helps alot. What do you do all day? Do you have hobbies or work?

I've been unable to work since I got sick in 1989

I do love to read, play computer games, and I do play piano in the band at church so practicing is fun for me.  I also love watching movies, but unfortunately that usually is an invitation to eat...  Right now, I'm mostly watching out for my mother-in-law during the day but that only keeps me upset.

[jackibar]

Hey, Jackie!
It IS really hard. I've been at my goal weight for over a year now and I still struggle. What does help me is to really THINK about it when I have cravings. I force myself to think of what I REALLY want and if the short term euphoria of eating whatever sweet it is that I'm craving is worth the longterm pain and frustration. I think about how ashamed and angry at myself I will be if I give in...and how hard it will be to get back on track. I think about how hard I've worked so far and whether I want to undo that for something that is so short lived in satisfying me. And, as Doug suggested, I drink as much water as I can stomach. Also, tea is great. Tea has kind of become my comfort "food" these days. I reward myself with it when I am stressed out....and while it's not the same high that I get from sugar, I'm training my brain to replace it as my treat to myself when I need one. Find something that is YOUR treat but that won't sabotage what you're trying to do for yourself. It sounds like you have a lot that you're doing for others and that you are not in control of. I think maybe taking control of your food issues will empower you? That's how I feel about it, at least. Instead of letting it run me...I try to run it and when the cravings try to take over, it's a war I'm determined to win. I hope that helps some!

Thanks so much for this - it is very helpful to me(!) - as are all the other suggestions you wonderful people have offered.  I had already started asking myself which do I want to be "deprived" of - this particular food OR the good health, etc., that comes from eating this way - so your comment is along the same lines

[jackibar]

Hi Jacki -- I'm so glad you posted -- Your story sounds like my story.....and all the above responses are absolutely so spot on.  In fact I think I'll print them and carry them around to re-read when I struggle (which is often).  Like you and the others we have this thing in common of carb addiction.  And it's like a cave-in to our life that the only way out is a lot of hard work to dig out from under, and I'll agree with you that is very difficult in light of eating patterns, bad habits, and emotional and very real difficulties in our lives.....I'm with you on the difficulties of a relative with dementia -- I've been caretaking a mother with dementia.  While at times I could just fall or dive head first into a bag of M & M's, I always always always desire, long for, yearn for the freedom from carb addiction, and oh heck jacki you know from your success to get to 265 how much better you felt mentally, physically, spiritually on the wagon versus sunk into carb hell. 

Thanks so much, Elizabeth!  I LOVE your analogy about the car trip and breaking down, etc.!  And I appreciate your reminder of how much BETTER I felt/feel when eating FTS and losing weight instead of being "sunk into carb hell" - perfect analogy, and I think I'd really forgotten how bad it used to be.  Maybe I needed this little detour to get a true fresh start with fresh determination - ?

[jackibar]

Hey Jacki! Let's talk about outta control eating, shall we?! I used to be the w o r s t! Most of yall know my story, so I'll spare ya! But whatever the mother n law cooked, I ate! And believe you me! It was not Fat to Skinny related! (&she even got the book!) Well, one day...The light came on! She and I "bicker" alot anyway, & seriously all she's gonna do is throw a fit anyway! So I decided one day just to start picking my battles.  She's never gonna change the way she cooks, but I can change! WoW....lol, enlightening, huh? But for me, I wasn't a confrontational person, until... (&well just leave it at that!:-) but once I realized I had the power of change, it was on! I find myself eating better and making wiser choices. And also, I keep a journal of everything she cooks and everything I eat. Helps me alot. Sorry for the novel! Lol...

WOW!!!!  The light bulb just went on for me, too!  I have NO control over my current circumstances - the mother-in-law with dementia that I am care taking even though I'm sick myself... the husband who won't consider placing her anywhere else... the NON-FTS food that is ALWAYS around this house and being eating right in front of me... and even the fact that I have no clue how much longer this is all going to last (and the guilt I feel for hoping it will end soon)...

The ONLY thing I can take any control over is ME.  MY reactions.  MY attitude.  MY eating choices...  What good is it going to do if I regain all this weight I've lost just to get a short-term "reward"(??) of eating high-carb foods that I could care less about just a few months ago before all this other mess started?!!!  What good is it going to do to have to take more and more insulin again like I did BEFORE I learned about FTS?  I need to remember all the positive benefits this way of eating has given me and the whole reason I started making this change to begin with - to literally SAVE MY LIFE after being in the hospital last September with weird heart and brain issues most likely caused by swelling and inflammation - most likely caused by high insulin in my system - most definitely caused by high glucose - most definitely caused by high carb intake...  WOW.

THANK you!!

[jackibar]

UPDATE....

Okay - you've asked for an update.  I was really avoiding coming on here to give it, but need to anyway.  At first - and for a couple of weeks - I did VERY well again.  I'd gained 8 lbs. back and 4 came right back off and I felt a renewed sense of hope.  However, last week for some weird reason 4 lbs. came right back on (taking me back up to the 8-lb. gain) even though I was eating "perfectly" - and I got frustrated and upset and somehow convinced myself that bingeing on carbs was a GOOD thing and that I "deserved" it - especially after all I've been going through and then eating right an then gaining weight anyway, blah, blah, blah...  A pity party in other words.

So I spent the whole weekend again eating wrong.  And this morning I decided to forget everything and start OVER completely.  All the way back to reading the book!  I've only read up to the middle of Chapter 1 and already I'm being reminded of WHY I started eating this way to begin with!!!!  Like Doug says - it's so "simple" - these stupid carbs are just NOT compatible with my metabolism AT ALL.  Not to mention the cravings and guilt, etc., that come right back every time I give in again.

I'm so very sad to have to let you all know that I "failed" yet again...  but also I do feel I'm really READY now to forget all that and get back TO THIS and continue this journey that I started so successfully.  It worked before - and maybe I took a short detour (thanks, Elizabeth!!) - but I've changed my tires, washed and waxed the car, emptied the trash out of it, hopped back in and am now back on the RIGHT road to continue this journey!

[umpa]

Jacki you can do this! If you ever need help please ask.We are all here for you! Your hand in mine we will get you through this.*hugz*

[mouseissue]

Hi, Jacki!

That's wonderful that you've changed how you look at things around you and renewed your commitment to FTS.

We can only do so much to change what others do around us.
But we have complete control of how we chose to allow those things to effect us.
This is where solid commitment comes in.

Commitment is like blinders for race horses. Some horses are more easily distracted, and need help.
So they wear blinders which block out what's going on around them.
All they see is the track ahead to their goal, the finish line.

You goal is waiting for you just ahead.
And we'll be running right along side you to help you reach it!

And remember, everyone will falls off the horse sometimes. Some more than others.
But none of us ever fails as long as we get back on... So NEVER, EVER give up!

Tony

[jackibar]

Thanks so much, Umpa and Tony... Your support and care means everything to me because I'm getting none at home. My doctor yesterday feels I need to go back on Prozac at least until some of this extra stress is over. I guess I'll try that though I was trying to get OFF my meds - not add MORE... Oh well...

[umpa]

Have you ever tried Sam E?

[jackibar]

I've heard of Sam E but haven't tried it before...

[o0OSusieO0o]

There is that saying out there that says you have to fail before you can succeed. That's what I did my first year. Ate carbs for a treat. But got right back on, again & again, but never gave up. Looks like you will succeed too!