hi cary, this is heather actually believe it or not. we went to school together back in elementary. anyways, this is kind of embarassing because u know me but here goes. i'd say starting in about grade 4 i started to gain weight. i was ridiculed all through out school. in grade 6, i was 160 pounds and only about 5'0. i had glasses so the nickname i got was fatty four eyes. grade 9 i did lose 30 pounds and was the best i ever was back then till i gained it back and more. i reached 255 pounds at 5'2. i hid in my house and the occasion i did go out, i wore all black including the summer time when it was +30 outside. anything to hide myself.
then, i stopped eating completely and took up smoking. good idea at the time cause i lost over 100 pounds and looked great! at least until i started eating again. then i gained it back and still smoked. right now, i'm way over 200 pounds again but i dont know exactly how much cause i wont step on a scale. i quit smoking but that just made gaining weight worse cause i eat where i used to smoke. i dont go outside anymore. i sit in my room or even lie in bed seeing as how theres no point in getting up. again, just like the old days, if i do go out, i wear all black and black pants even in the hot summer. i'm ashamed of the way i look and dont want anyone to see me. i think everyone is judging me. what to do? i have no idea anymore. i've given up. worse part is i have 3 kids and cant do much with them cause i have no energy. forget working cause that will kill me! yes, i'm in a desparate state. i am now 37.
i saw this on the keeping fit blog and decided to enter.
heather
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