74
« on: July 01, 2012, 07:47:20 AM »
I've not been doing very well at sticking to FTS. I did great for several days, then caved in during my oldest son's b-day party. I won't go into the details of all the junk I ate. Ever since then, I've been binging so badly. Craving sugar like a drug addict. I had planned to get back to FTS today, but already this morning I've had 6 twizzler's. It's like I just can't stop, it's almost automatic that I reach for something horrible, without much thought until the eating is done.
I'm so mad at myself. How come I can't follow through when it comes to eating right? I know I'm slowly killing myself. I have diabetes, yet I eat without a care. It's so bad that I wonder when I go to sleep at night if I will wake up in the morning. And it makes me sad and depressed because I don't want to leave my kids. They don't deserve having to grow up without me. But the pull of sugar and junk is so strong that I almost feel powerless.
I don't want to give up. I know that I will start again. Right this minute. But I do not know how to stop this behavior. Can anyone give me some tips on how to stop?